


Bright, Bright, Wondrous Light

by gryffindorJ



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional Infidelity, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-19
Updated: 2011-12-19
Packaged: 2019-08-23 19:17:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16624874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryffindorJ/pseuds/gryffindorJ
Summary: It wasn't so much that Luna was a person to be around. Harry could find that anywhere. It was that she had always understood him so easily.





	Bright, Bright, Wondrous Light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [torino10154](https://archiveofourown.org/users/torino10154/gifts).



> Thank you mindabbles for the wonderful beta work and midnitemaraud_r for knowing all about everything. Any mistakes are therefore my own or my artistic liberties. If the title looks familiar it's because I took it from a Christmas song to use as a title for porn. 
> 
> My darling torino10154, here for you is a story about a friendship that is dear to Harry's heart. While this story is not a direct reflection of our friendship – that will be obvious when you read – there are word choices and phrases I used with you in mind. I love you. Merry Christmas.

Harry hated this time of year. He was surrounded by people who enjoyed it, the anticipation, the hustle and bustle, the happy feeling in the air. Really, it did nothing at all for Harry. The weather was shit; not quite winter, not quite autumn, cold, rainy and miserable. Ginny was very busy with work. The Quidditch season was in full force and she always had a "deadline". When she wasn't at a match or at her desk frantically writing, she was at home moody and distracted by the looming deadline. His kids were gone. Sure they'd be home for the Christmas Holiday soon enough but the days until then felt like an eternity. The house was quiet without them. His life was quiet without them. 

He tried going to Ron and Hermione's but something about the warm companionability and easy way they had with each other unnerved him. He felt like the proverbial third wheel and magnified what he did not have himself. 

Instead, on nights when he didn't go home and fall asleep in front of the telly, dinner half eaten, or stay at work until well past a reasonable hour, he found himself with Luna. She was like a balm to his loneliness. It wasn't so much that she was a person to be around. Harry could find that anywhere. It was that he lost the ability to pity himself around her. Luna was one of the few people he knew who could read his feelings, and even rarer, could handle his sadness and loneliness. She was also willing to point them out and somehow, having his mood so baldly laid bare made the ache melt away. 

"Harry," Luna said, walking into the kitchen. "I've told you the taps are reversed. The water will never heat up by running the cold water."

"Oh, right, sorry," Harry said, turning off one and turning on the other. Hot water ran out of the tap almost immediately. "I can fix this for you, if you like," Harry said as he rinsed off the plates from their take-away dinner. "It's a simple charm." 

"No, it won't really do any good," Luna said as she put bags of tea into two mugs. "There's a Hydrokamphilis living in the pipes, he thinks it's funny to do that. As soon as you fix it he'll just switch it back. 

Harry smiled and shook is head affectionately. "I think you just have dodgy plumbing." 

"You may think as you like, but you're wrong," Luna said with a smile back. "Leave the rest and let's sit outside. Perhaps some of the clouds will clear long enough for us to see some of the meteor shower." 

Harry turned off the water and dried his hands. Before he left the kitchen, he flicked his wand at the taps. The little disk with the letter H on it and the one with the letter C floated up into the air. He swished his wand and they switched and settled onto their knew knobs. 

"I saw that," Luna said. Her hip leaned against the doorframe holding a mug in each hand. 

"Only checking to see of a Hydro-whats-it-lis can read," Harry said innocently, lips twitching with a suppressed smile. 

Luna handed him his mug and then promptly pinched him in reproach. 

He swiftly snatched her hand before she could pull it away. "That, hurt," he said. He looked down at her hand, held tight in his grip. It was it was pale, and although it was smaller than his, the fingers were beautifully long. It felt soft in his own. It was a perfect hand, he thought to himself. "How can something so delicate hurt so badly?"

"Very strong thumbs," Luna said, waggling her thumb in his hand in illustration. 

Harry snorted a laugh, "I'll remember that." 

"I promise to be gentler next time." 

Harry looked down at her. She gave him a slight smile and her eyes glowed with happiness. It warmed his heart immediately. It would be so easy to lean down just a fraction and kiss her. His thoughts must have showed on his face. The smile on her lips died, even although her eyes still sparkled with happiness.

The air between them felt warm and inviting, like the wind in the spring that chased away the cold winter air. Harry wanted to move through it towards Luna. He hesitated a moment too long and Luna cleared her throat. "Shall we go outside now?" 

Harry let go of her hand and nodded. Luna opened the back door and the blast of cold air promptly dissipated the warmth Harry had felt between them. He took a deep breath. Half sad and half grateful. That had been close. 

It was not the first close call. They were comfortable around each other, made each other happy, and so, hugs lingered too long and innocent touches to the forearm, small of the back, and occasionally the hip made his heart race and felt more than friendly. 

Nothing could happen. Harry had Ginny and they were fine enough. Luna, as she had always been, was Harry's friend. 

He reminded himself of this fact as they sat on the bench on Luna's large wooden deck. She had charmed the bench so that it was warm and soft underneath them. Harry could feel the heat from the fire to his right. The logs hissed and crackled as they burned. 

"You want to sit here?" Harry asked. "It's warmer by the fire." 

"No, I'm fine. Sitting by you is warm enough. Most likely you're part dragon, the way you give off heat," Luna said, as if this was an established fact. 

Harry felt a warm bubble of gratitude in his chest for Luna. She could so easily move past any uncomfortable moment, not allowing Harry to dwell on it. 

Harry looked at the sky, hoping for a break in the clouds. Here and there, the clouds broke and glimpse of the stars could be caught. "How do you do that?" Harry asked turning to Luna and raising his brows. 

"What?"

"Make everything so…I don't know…comfortable. It's never horrible with you." 

Luna let out a small puff of laughter. "Thank you. It's never horrible with you either." 

Harry tried to say something, "That wasn't what I – I only meant –" but Luna shook her head affectionately cutting him off. 

"I know what you meant. Only teasing." Harry leaned back, sipping his tea and enjoying the quiet companionship.

Harry saw Luna move out of the corner of his eye. She sat up to tuck her feet underneath her. He turned to her but she kept her face forward looking up at the night sky and the stars peeking out from behind the clouds. 

Despite the low light of the fire, he could see the rosy glow of her cheeks. Her mouth looked soft, in a sweet, contented smile. She wore her hair just to her shoulder, and right now it was tied back at the nape of her neck. Fine wisps had come loose, framing her face, almost purposefully.

Harry eyes moved back to her warm looking lips. More than once Harry had got lost in thoughts of those lips, the curve and the fullness of the bottom one. On nights when he had held her too long, he'd carried home with him the memory of the press of her breasts against him. Stroking himself, thinking about touching her breasts, about kissing them, he'd come, imagining those lips wrapped around his cock, bringing him to completion. He always felt guilty afterwards. Not because he thought of someone else, another women, but because he couldn't imagine actually using Luna so. 

He always felt guilty afterwards. This was Luna and he would never want her just to suck his cock. If she and he were a _them_ , he'd want to touch her, slowly, and tenderly. He'd want to feel her beneath him, lower himself on top of her as he felt the curves of her hips. He'd kiss the knobs of her spine, the dip of her lower back, just before it rounded into her full arse. 

Knowing Luna though, she would probably insist on going down on him, surprising him in that way. Luna always managed to surprise Harry in the best of ways. 

Somewhere in the back of his head he knew that he shouldn't be thinking about her in that way, _looking_ at her the way he looked at her. It was dangerous, but backing away from danger wasn't Harry's strong suit. At any rate, he was married, not blind or dead. He was allowed to find other people attractive, if nothing else. 

Harry felt his pants grow slightly tight with the lingering memory of his fantasies and he blinked trying to bring himself back. He felt his cheeks flame with embarrassment as he looked at Luna beside him—really looked at her. 

Luna suddenly turned her head to Harry, raising her brows at him in question. 

"Only wondering if you looked like your mother," Harry said so quickly that it sounded more like a complete lie than the half-truth that it was. "Er, you don't look like your father. A bit about the eyes, maybe," he blustered.

"It's hard to remember…sometimes," Luna said, shrugging. "In my mind she's quite pretty. I don't remember her hair, though I suppose it's like mine. I don't remember her eyes or even her smile that well. I remember more of the way she had about her, the feeling of being around her. It was like unbounded joy and happiness. When I think of her and how she made me feel, I see her as very beautiful. Clever and beautiful. I suppose we must look alike, but how I see her and how I see myself aren't the same." Luna spoke of her mother in the same way Harry had heard her speak of her all those years ago. Accepting that she was gone, but also this time Harry heard something else in Luna's voice. What was it? Wistfulness? Sadness? He didn't know. 

He felt he had to say something. The words tumbled out of his mouth before he was even sure they were safe to say. "You're very clever and beautiful, too." 

"Thank you, Harry," Luna said sincerely and she put her hand on his, lacing her fingers through his. "You say the right things even though I don't think you realize that." 

Harry smiled wryly, "I'm sure there are people who would disagree with you on that. And if I say the right things, I'm certainly not thinking the right things." 

"Really?" Luna asked, face open and innocent. 

Harry tilted his head at her, "You do know that." 

"Odd. I thought I was the only one who was thinking such things." 

"You're not," Harry said. 

They looked at each other and once again the air between them felt warm and inviting. Her hand felt so good in his, and she made him feel lighter than he could ever have imagined. Harry wanted more of that, desperately. 

He leaned in and kissed her. His first thought was that her lips were softer and better than he imagined. His second was she was kissing him back pulling him closer, urging him on. She opened her mouth to his tongue and he brushed it against hers. She moaned and drew his tongue in harder. 

She leaned back, pulling him with her, and suddenly Harry was on top of her. Kissing her and pushing up her skirt, his hands glided against the dark blue tights that covered her thighs. Luna frantically unbuttoned his shirt. Her cold hands touched his heated skin and he hissed. He wanted more. 

His hands went to the hem of her jumper and pushed it up over her head, breaking their kiss for a moment. He wanted to feel his skin on hers. Under her jumper, she wore a skimpy, thin vest. He wrapped his hands around the thin delicate straps and pulled them down over her shoulders. He pulled her bra away and reached for her breasts. They were just as he had imagined them, full and soft. Her nipples pressed against the palms of his hands. 

He pulled away from the kiss and moved his mouth to her chest, flicking each nipple in turn with his tongue, revelling in the feel of them hardening. He sucked one firmly in his mouth, brushing his tongue across it and as he pulled at it with his lips. The other, he rubbed between his fingers. It felt hard as a pebble on the pads of his fingers. Luna moaned arching her back into him. 

The feel of her and the delicious sounds coming from her made his cock ache. It pressed hard to the flies of his jeans. Harry lowered himself against Luna's thighs, one leg between hers, and ground himself blissfully against her. They both moaned and _fuck_ he wanted to be in her. 

Harry ran his hand up her thigh to her hips, pushing her skirt to her waist. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of her tights and pulled them down, along with her knickers, just low enough so he could touch her. 

He slid his hand over her. She was as wet and hot on his hand. She thrust up into his touch and he pressed his thumb to her. She moaned urging him on. 

Luna yanked off her tights urgently. He imagined himself on top of her, in her, having her roll up to meet each of his thrusts. He wanted her naked, wanted to see every inch of her pale skin beneath him. 

He pushed up her vest and touched the smooth skin of her stomach. Her stomach was so different than what Harry was used to. It was flat with a tender softness to it and the skin was perfect, without blemish. 

Ginny's stomach was nothing like this. Her stomach was firm except the lower bit, which had a soft little roundness that refused to go away since having children. She had feared she would end up looking like her mother and had thrown herself into training and being a very picky eater. A few times Harry had mentioned he didn't think she ate enough but those concerns were only met by glares. Ginny had a scar to the left of her navel where some skin cancer cells had been found. That and the other imperfections bothered her. Harry never thought twice about or even really noticed that or the other marks, and he had a kind of fondness for the faint lines left from having three children. 

_My, children._ Harry thought, and it was like a Bludger hit him in the chest 

Thoughts and images swirled in his mind and he stood up almost violently and turned his back to Luna. His forehead thudded to his hand and he breathed heavily. The images assaulted him. Jamie as a baby, Al's belly laugh, Lily's hair flying out behind her as he swung her around. Images of Luna mixed with the memories of his children when they were little. And Ginny, he didn't want to think about Ginny now. He was going to feel bad enough, but there she was. His wife. Christ, there could be a lot of things said about him and Ginny but the fact of the matter was she was that. His wife. 

He pushed up his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Shit, shit, shit," he sad under his breath. 

He could hear Luna behind him slipping on her clothes and the reality of the situation and that he was still hard as a rock came rushing back at him. He pushed with the heel of his hand on his erection, urging it away. He took a couple deep breaths. That and the guilt washing over him did a noble job of ridding his cock of interest. For a moment Harry thought that perhaps it shouldn't go away that easily. The least he deserved were some seriously aching balls. 

"Come and put your shirt on. It's freezing," Luna said behind him. 

He shook his head. He didn't trust himself to speak or even turn around yet. He still wanted her. Wanted Luna. His blood was slowly returning to his head and he now knew he wouldn't, but that didn't stop the feeling of need deep inside him. If he turned around she would see it in his eyes. She could always read him so well. 

"Shit," Harry said again. He crossed his arms in a vain attempt to shield himself from the cold and squeezed his eyes closed. For a very brief moment Harry worried he'd lost Luna, that they couldn't be friends now. On the other hand, if anyone could stay friends after this, it was Luna. God, Harry did not deserve her goodness, but he knew he had it all the same. 

He straightened his posture and opened his eyes. He took a slow breath readying himself to turn around, when suddenly the clouds parted just enough and the night sky burned with meteor streaking across it. It was millions, maybe billions, of miles away. The stunning light was followed quickly by another, almost burning his eyes. It had been so long since he had seen the night sky – damned rain – that the brilliance of the meteors was all the better. 

Harry took a deep breath and turned to face Luna. She was arranged neatly on the bench as she had been before, her slightly messy hair the only evidence that anything had happened. 

"I'm sorry," he said past the lump in his throat.

"Harry, no, it was me," Luna said. 

"No, really. You don't have to –" 

"I'm not," she said. "Your shirt. You must be freezing." 

She stood and draped his shirt over his shoulder so he could slip it on. He could feel the warm puffs of her breath on his chest as he reached for his buttons. She was looking down, she wouldn't meet his eyes. 

Harry mumbled another apology, whispered, "I'm sorry". Harry was sorry for so much. Sorry he stopped, sorry he even started, sorry he had crushed their friendship with one blow, sorry he was married. Sorry he momentarily forgot that. What he wasn't sorry for, surprisingly, was that he had picked Ginny. 

Without Ginny he wouldn't have James or Albus or Lily and there wasn't a single thing ever that would make Harry regret them. 

"Harry, really, it's okay," Luna said, smoothing out his collar. She sniffed and wouldn't meet his eyes. 

He cupped her jaw and tipped her face up to look at him. Her eyes were shining. Fuck, he'd made her cry. "Luna-" 

"No, it's not," she said wiping her eyes. "I'm worried I scared you and we can't be friends anymore." 

"I was thinking the same thing." 

"If you kissed me so you wouldn't have to eat my cooking anymore, that's very rude you know," Luna said with her quintessential brand of sincere honesty that also adroitly rid the situation of any remaining awkwardness.

Harry laughed and pulled Luna to him, "Had I known that was an option I would have done it sooner." 

"Careful, I'll pinch you," Luna said, her voice muffled against his chest. 

He closed his eyes and held her tight. Wanting just for this moment for time to slow so he could shut everything else out for just a bit longer. 

Luna pulled away slowly and looked up at him. Harry gently cupped her jaw in the palms of his hand and kissed her, warm and soft. This kiss was not passionate or dripping with desire like the ones before. It was understanding and affectionate. 

"I should go," Harry said as he stepped back.

"The clouds are clearing. Are you sure?" Luna said. "We can see more of the Leonid shower." 

"No, I'm good," Harry said. "Hermione and her early morning meetings." 

Luna smiled and nodded in understanding. 

"See you tomorrow?" Harry asked just before going to grab his jacket. 

"That awful fish and chips place you like?" Luna said. "It's half price Thursday." 

"Absolutely." 

Luna tucked herself back on the bench and looked up at the sky, her face suddenly brightened and Harry knew a brilliant meteor must have passed by. He didn't turn and try to catch it though. 

Some things could not be recaptured. The moment the clouds shifted and he saw a meteor was one he wanted to remember for what it was, and not try to relive. The lights, like Luna's friendship, burned bright in him as he left.


End file.
